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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
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Sunday, December 18th, 2005
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I finally went out and got a pathetically small Christmas tree today. Think Charlie Brown only slightly worse. I spent about a minute decorating it with the ornaments I made last year. I got rid of one or two and had to make a new one for Jess cause I really did sell the other one on e-bay.
Looking through my old entries I also found my entry about my Holiday CD that was put out last year. Sigh, I miss Alexis.
I have been obsessively listening to the Garden State CD lately after a few months of it sitting and collecting dust. Probably cause I'm spending most my time missing Ash lately. Distance making the heart grow fonder is pretty much bullshit to me right now. I'll probably show up at her window with my boom box on Christmas only to find out she ventured out to find me. We should probably make some kind of plan cause our timing with one another is absolutely horrible.
I'm trying to ignore the fact I've been MIA so long and maybe no one else will notice. Did it work?
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Saturday, November 5th, 2005
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I just got a random thought I felt the need to throw out there.
My new icons make me look like a man whore. I really need to sober up and stop making out with random people, for Ashley at least. And also possibly my health.
That's all really.
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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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I turned 29 two days ago. Twenty fucking nine. And as of yet, no change. At about 21, birthdays just about started to lose meaning. I guess next year maybe it will be another milestone but as of now the past 8 years have just kind of blurred together.
It's almost nearly been 6 weeks since my last entry but I'm not out yet. I'm just barely hanging onto the idea of this journal lately but I'm not quite ready to give up.
In three days, Ashley and I will be celebrating six months. I've grown to hate her answering machine over the past couple of months. Although sometimes it's nice to know I can call whenever if I just need to hear her voice. We really are hopeless sometimes but when we come together I know it's right. It's something you can just feel. Come hell or high water I will be with her on the 28th. It's one promise I fully intend on keeping.
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Sunday, September 18th, 2005
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I am officially a failure at this again. I was going good for a while there so it's slightly depressing. I think I've been dating Ashley four months now and I've seen her about two times. I have to say it really makes a relationship run smoothly when you hardly ever talk to the person.
I always have all sorts of shit running through my head at any given time but by the time I find a computer and time to use it my brain has already gone in shut down mode. I haven't really been doing all that much. Promotion for Waiting will start pretty soon but I haven't been doing much actual work. This is both nice and incredibly boring. About a month after Waiting comes out, Just Friends will be coming out so October and November will be pretty busy.
After that, who knows. Maybe I'll actually see Ashley. We had a pretty good holiday season last year. I just don't think I'll be able to watch Elf again this year after watching it about 300 times last Christmas.Although maybe we'll actually make enough paper snowflakes to fill a room instead of stopping after only making three. And I promise to not make cookies that read "I h8 Ashley", again. Maybe this year I'll make her come up to Vancouver. Christmas is still three months away so I'll worry about all that when the times comes.
I wish I had something profound, funny, or witty to say but I don't so I'll stop before I bore anyone else to death.
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Saturday, September 10th, 2005
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Friday, August 19th, 2005
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I don't really know what to say or for that matter where to begin.
So we'll call this a placeholder or something like that and maybe I'll be back around sometime to fill it in with something better.
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This update should be really great since it's been four weeks from my last one. I hate to disappoint so it really hurts me that is is just going to be a BS entry.
Just to catch up a little, watch the skit I did for MAD tv right here. It's so stupid you'll probably get a laugh or two out of it.
The trailer for Waiting was released recently and the opening date have been pushed up from October 7th to September 23rd.
Also I read about Ashley leaving me for Jared Leto who thankfully has an even less existent career than me, helps with the ego a little. I don't blame her since it would appear I've aged ten years over night in the pictures from the Batman Begins premiere.
But really Ash, 33, now you're pushing it.
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Lately I've been noticing how we spend so much of our lives closed inside of something. We wake up in the mornings, from the house to the car to the office back to the car and home again. If it's not work or home, it's school, a store, behind three inches of bullet proof glass if you're at a bank, a seedy motel, or a prison, and finally a casket. Everything has been getting me fucking down lately and I'm tired of feeling this way.
From now on fresh air is the taste of the summer. And the blonde of her hair the color of the season. I was to rent a cherry red Cadillac and drive to nowhere in particular with the windows down, radio loud and strong. But more then anything I want her in the passenger's seat, hair blowing in the wind, bare feet resting on the dashboard. I think that's summer should be like, not a care in the world, just the sound of the road and her laughter filling the air.
Edit: Ashley, there's a locked post for you.
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| Time: | 1:08 am. |
| Music: | The Killers. |
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I wish I could come up with a good reason for my extended absence but I'm not really back completely yet so when that time comes, I'll come up with something better.
I did however manage to fly more then I like, visit Baltimore, and rock out to Billy Fucking Idol while I was on temporary leave. And I did get some laundry done in between so my time away was at least slightly eventful.
However the day begins or what goes on during, it always ends the same. It's nice to hear her voice on the other end of the line after a long day or anytime at all really. We start with the big events if there were any, move on to the mundane and finally we both sit in silence for a while before the goodbyes are said.
I don't know how to explain it really but I don't think my day would be complete now without that phone call.
Although, I wish I could have made it to Germany with her, god knows I would be willing to go up to random people and say whatever Ashley told me too. I lost any and all shame I had left somewhere between Buying The Cow and Van Wilder.
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Date created: 2002-04-30 11:47:36
Ok, so I'm a little late and it was technically the creation date of my other journal but still, damn.
Ashley, I'll take my straight jacket now.
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I'm not fond of typical first dates. If you only you could get to know a person without actually having to go through the getting to know you bullshit.
I flew into New York this morning. I figured I would start it off her favorite way by waking her up at six with the stereo. Luckily she only made me play the song three times today before she let me in. After breakfast I took her to play paint ball which she insisted she would hate. Turns out out I suck at it and Ashley has damn good aim. It quickly turned into target practice and I can honestly say I don't think I'll ever forget it, mostly because of the bruises I have that I don't think will be going away anytime soon.
I didn't really have a plan for the afternoon so we ended up going to Central Park to take her dog, or overgrown rat if you listen to her, for a walk and people watch for a while. I dropped her off at her house and told her I would be back to pick her up at seven.
I wanted to give her something she had never had before and when you're dealing with someone who seems like they have it all, it's not an easy task. All I remember saying before we walked in the restaurant was that I hoped this wasn't too corny.
The place was empty except for one table in the middle of the room, a band, a disco ball of course and one sign hung up over the band, "Prom Of 2005". We did the routine prom thing really. Skipped the chaperones and the king and queen, I mean I think her and the lead singer had it in the bag anyway. We did however take the ridiculous pictures and the band was kind of crappy so I figure it was pretty close to the real thing.
I know I couldn't really ever get her real prom back but all the trouble was worth it just to see the look on her face.
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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
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Since sleep isn't going to come right now and my head is still pounding I figure now is as good a time as any to make a small confession. Don't except too much I still have to keep a little bit of my cryptic side.
I'm in love with someone. In love with the idea of being with that person even if I know from the get go it just wouldn't work. There's too much difference, she's an amazing friend but to take it any further kind of scares me. I know we're looking for two completely different things but as many times as I tell myself that I can't get her out of my head. Someone asked me in my last post who am I always pining for and well it's her. She never fails to throw me a curve ball when I least expect it and I will admit to loving the way she keeps me on my toes. But as much as I want it to work, the first step is always the hardest to take. I kind of hope she knows this is to her, I don't see how she couldn't but I think in a way she's at the same place I am, too afraid to just take one step forward when it's so much safer just to stay where you are. I wanna know her, everything about her, from her worst memory to how she takes her coffee. But I'm to scared to ask, to afraid of being shut down and losing one of the most beautiful friendships I have ever had.
There's someone else too, someone who recently has really caught me off guard. A relationship with her would probably be a much easier path, seeing as we're both in the same place in our life. But the fact is I don't want to enter a relationship while I'm still hung up on someone else and I don't know how to just stop the feelings I'm having for that someone else.
And I've learned lately that the easier road is not always, or often for that matter, the best choice.
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After two entries I feel like I'm already running out of thing to say. So tell me a story, a secret, a confession, anything. You can do it anonymously or not and while you're at it feel free to give me a couple of topics to write about.
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Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
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After I started filming Amityville a lot of people on the crew and cast started experiencing weird things they couldn't explain. I didn't really buy it until a couple weeks into filming.
Every morning, without fail, my eyelids would shoot open at exactly 3:15 a.m. The first week I would just look over at the clock and turn over and go back to sleep. The second week I didn't even bother to look at the clock anymore I just stared up at the ceiling until I feel back to sleep. Around the third week though it just got a little to nerve wracking. I'd slide out of bed slowly and creep around my dark hotel room looking for god knows what. I'd usually wake up on the couch the next morning by the glow of the TV screen with a small chill and a few beads of sweat gathered on my forehead.
I never really thought about paranormal things until I did this movie. Never really thought about the possibility of some souls that just weren't ready or able to cross over.
I've also found myself growing a small obsession with old houses. Every For Sale sign catches my eye. If the house even looks older, I'll pull over immediately no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going. Most the time I just get a glimpse from the outside, sometimes daring to walk up the front stairs and lay my hand over the doorknob before walking away. Other times I plan ahead, go to open houses or set up appointments with an agent. I wander in and out of every room I'm allowed into. Running my fingers over walls and railings letting my mind create stories about the people and things that happened in this place. Most the time I find newer houses that were just built to resemble old ones but every once in a while I get lucky. I also think the real estate agents in the area are staring to get slightly annoyed with me and my questions that they never have the answers too. I ask them anyway and maybe they'll tell me something that don't have memorized about the rich history of this lovely Dutch Colonial model dating back to the...you get the picture.
Besides that not much has changed since I did the movie. I'm still not really sure if I believe or if I don't.
Oh but I'm not going in the basement. And from now on, it's showers for me. Just in case.
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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Most people know home is much more then a four letter word. But as you get older you also learn it's much more then a place too. More then a place to put your stuff or a place to sleep at night. I can live anywhere, you learn that quickly when you make the career decision to be an actor. You live out of suitcases, in hotel rooms, sometimes on planes. I've lived in L.A. in a crappy motel, a nice house and most recently a condo. But that doesn't make any of those places my home.
I know my home. I know every road, every place you have to go, and the places where the locals go. I know the people by name, I know the owners of the small shops, and every neighbor.
And that's where I am cause it's been far too long. I've missed enough birthdays and holidays, too many for me to count. And the truck of my car can't hold many more overdue presents. Promotion is only fun for so long even when you in the company of someone as wonderful as Ms. Melissa George. And I think it's due time I take a little break.
Sorry I took off on you Melissa, we'll get that drink one of these days. You have my word.
Alanis my phone is always on and my door is always open in case you need a break.
Same goes for you, you,and you.
Matthew,Where have you been you sexy bitch?
So you don't feel left out Ashley, I'm shocked you haven't made an icon of this one yet. I wish I remember who I was making out with. I was probably drunk. It kind of looks like Pete...
And cause you started it Aaron, Why won't you love me?! Why??
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You know that place between sleep and awake? The place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.
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reynolds's journal
